brianistheman.com
July 17, 2002
I never see baby pidgeons. I take this as proof that they are direct spawns of satan.
 
July 15, 2002
Many inexperienced men go to dance clubs to oogle at beautiful women. While clubs are by no means a bad place to do this, my favorite thing to do is watch the tall-lanky men. This isn't because I'm gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). Merely as a tall-lanky man myself, it intrigues me to see what other tall-lanky men are doing with their similarly awkward bodies. We have a sort-of tall and lanky solidarity.
 
July 11, 2002
The god-given, natural position of a toilet seat is up, despite heretical female assertions to the contrary.
 

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