brianistheman.com
June 20, 2002
Where does one acquire a hired goon? Could I be one of these guys? I wonder if there's a secret section on www.monster.com: "Aggressive, obedient dullard needed immediately in dynamic, high-growth family business." I always thought it'd be nice to have my own goons. They could follow me around, make me look important, occasionally get me a better place in the club line. That's the good life.
 
June 02, 2002
I'm nearly 24 now, and I think a sufficient amount of time has passed for me to confidently say: I survived adolescence without an acne problem. I can't imagine why God smiled on me as he did. I must be the chosen one.
 

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